Monday, April 25, 2011
so far...
Just a quick note to let you know how things are going. I've been much more kind and mindful to myself and other people. Good things seem to be happening---am seeing more good in the world. Having my strengths and flaws written out has been inspiring. When I feel like everything is spiraling out of control, I look at the list. It's also very humbling to recognize your faults. I've always been so caught up in hiding them, that I hadn't explored them or given them attention. Now when I feel one of the faults coming on, I recognize it and can work to change it. I'll be back later to blog on Chapter 2 :)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
another quick note...
Been really busy this week taking care of kids and grandmother...but still trying to be more kind and mindful...just to show that karma does exist...I've been going out of my way to be mindful of others and the other day was on my way home to start yard work (which kills my already injured back...). When I pulled into the driveway, my brother's work crew was hard at work on my lawn! He actually had his landscaping crew landscape my lawn...without me asking!!! I was so happy!!!
Friday, April 15, 2011
A quick note...
I'm falling behind on my entries because my internet service has been quirky. I only have a quick minute, but wanted to share something before I sit down and tackle chapter 2.
I had the most beautiful, amazing yoga experience today. Fridays are "my day for me"...all of the kids are in school. I have my psychiatry appointment and my writing group. And I have my longest yoga practice (at home) for the week (most days it's 20 to 30 minutes, squeezed in between chores and kids...).
Today I decided to put on one of the direct tv stations that I hadn't listened to a while called New Age. The music this morning was beautiful. I set up my mat in front of the bay windows in the living room with the curtains closed so that just a soft light fell on me. I started my practice, able to stretch more than I have in a while. I was amazed by what my body could do. Nose to feet in lotus position. Complete downward dog in aligned position. Then I started my flow sequence. I did the moon sequence because my back had been hurting and I didn't think I could handle my other favorite, sun salutation. I closed my eyes (I always do when I practice yoga) and started the flow. My body responded with great happiness. I moved through the moves gracefully and felt my body thanking me. Then an amazing thing happened. As I was practicing, I started to smell sandalwood and patchouli. Now, I don't have any incense or candles in my house right now (ran out) and haven't for a while. The smell just kept wafting up and around me and I just smiled, so happy. I continued my practice until it was time for savasana. I laid down to rest and decided I would just do if for the duration of the next song. Then, more amazement. It was a happy melody, full of flute and nature sounds. I started to think "this melody sounds very yellow". Behind my closed eyes, the most brilliant yellow started swirling around. It was all different shades of yellow, from light daffodil to rich lemon. I decided to stay resting for the next melody. This melody was richer and had more instruments. I thought to myself "this melody sounds very purple". Then, just as before, purple started swirling behind my closed eyes. Dark purple, light purple, all shades, just swirling and moving in a beautiful little show. I couldn't help but smile.
Now, I'm off for my day and I feel so happy and alive. I will try to get online later to write about my experience with Chapter 2.
Peace!
I had the most beautiful, amazing yoga experience today. Fridays are "my day for me"...all of the kids are in school. I have my psychiatry appointment and my writing group. And I have my longest yoga practice (at home) for the week (most days it's 20 to 30 minutes, squeezed in between chores and kids...).
Today I decided to put on one of the direct tv stations that I hadn't listened to a while called New Age. The music this morning was beautiful. I set up my mat in front of the bay windows in the living room with the curtains closed so that just a soft light fell on me. I started my practice, able to stretch more than I have in a while. I was amazed by what my body could do. Nose to feet in lotus position. Complete downward dog in aligned position. Then I started my flow sequence. I did the moon sequence because my back had been hurting and I didn't think I could handle my other favorite, sun salutation. I closed my eyes (I always do when I practice yoga) and started the flow. My body responded with great happiness. I moved through the moves gracefully and felt my body thanking me. Then an amazing thing happened. As I was practicing, I started to smell sandalwood and patchouli. Now, I don't have any incense or candles in my house right now (ran out) and haven't for a while. The smell just kept wafting up and around me and I just smiled, so happy. I continued my practice until it was time for savasana. I laid down to rest and decided I would just do if for the duration of the next song. Then, more amazement. It was a happy melody, full of flute and nature sounds. I started to think "this melody sounds very yellow". Behind my closed eyes, the most brilliant yellow started swirling around. It was all different shades of yellow, from light daffodil to rich lemon. I decided to stay resting for the next melody. This melody was richer and had more instruments. I thought to myself "this melody sounds very purple". Then, just as before, purple started swirling behind my closed eyes. Dark purple, light purple, all shades, just swirling and moving in a beautiful little show. I couldn't help but smile.
Now, I'm off for my day and I feel so happy and alive. I will try to get online later to write about my experience with Chapter 2.
Peace!
Monday, April 11, 2011
The Art of Happiness--Chapter One--The Right to Happiness
We are all familiar with our country's right to the pursuit of happiness. But how many of us are actually in pursuit? What is the secret of being happy?
I feel that before we can be truly happy, we must first give ourselves permission to do so. Being raised Catholic, I was brought up feeling a lot of guilt. Guilt for my sins. Guilt for my thoughts. Guilt for my actions. Being happy, I felt guilty because there were those out there who were not happy, who were suffering, and what right did I have to be happy?
In this first chapter of the book, Dr. Cutler asks the Dalai Lama if he is happy. "Yes, definitely" is his reply. Then Dr. Cutler asks about the suffering of many people, unhappy people, who do harm to themselves despite the hurt it brings them. There is talk of the goals of pyschotherapy, being to alleviate depression but not having a goal of happiness. That is something I can vouch for. I am bipolar, severely, and have seen a psychiatrist for therapy for five years. Our talks are always bringing me to the point where I can "cope". I am one of those people, those hurting souls, that have hurt myself, that have tried to commit suicide. I have been hospitalized three times in the last 5 years. I have been asked many questions, given many suggestions, but never been asked if I am happy, or how I might think I could get there.
The Dalai Lama suggests that this lack of coaching for happiness is because Western medicine looks solely at this lifetime. He talks of the Tibetan word Sem, which broadly defined means "psyche" or "spirit". He speaks of how past imprints from childhood and past lives can affect this life. He also points out that by begining to identify the factors which lead to happiness and those factors which lead to suffering, we can then gradually elimate those factors which lead to suffering, and cultivate those factors which lead to happiness. Simple, yet missing from so many therapy practices.
How often have we been in line for coffee or at the grocery store and we completely ignore those people in line around us? The Dalai Lama speaks of personal happiness which can be as simple as reaching out to others, creating a feeling of community and good will, even if these encounters are brief. Scientific studies also showed that people who felt happy were more likely to help others.
What will I take from this chapter?
1. I will list the factors that foster suffering in my life, and list those that bring me happiness. I will hang this list in a prominent place and try to reduce the negative factors and increase the positive factors.
2. I will try to reach out to others, even for simple and brief encounters. I will foster community and good will.
I feel that before we can be truly happy, we must first give ourselves permission to do so. Being raised Catholic, I was brought up feeling a lot of guilt. Guilt for my sins. Guilt for my thoughts. Guilt for my actions. Being happy, I felt guilty because there were those out there who were not happy, who were suffering, and what right did I have to be happy?
In this first chapter of the book, Dr. Cutler asks the Dalai Lama if he is happy. "Yes, definitely" is his reply. Then Dr. Cutler asks about the suffering of many people, unhappy people, who do harm to themselves despite the hurt it brings them. There is talk of the goals of pyschotherapy, being to alleviate depression but not having a goal of happiness. That is something I can vouch for. I am bipolar, severely, and have seen a psychiatrist for therapy for five years. Our talks are always bringing me to the point where I can "cope". I am one of those people, those hurting souls, that have hurt myself, that have tried to commit suicide. I have been hospitalized three times in the last 5 years. I have been asked many questions, given many suggestions, but never been asked if I am happy, or how I might think I could get there.
The Dalai Lama suggests that this lack of coaching for happiness is because Western medicine looks solely at this lifetime. He talks of the Tibetan word Sem, which broadly defined means "psyche" or "spirit". He speaks of how past imprints from childhood and past lives can affect this life. He also points out that by begining to identify the factors which lead to happiness and those factors which lead to suffering, we can then gradually elimate those factors which lead to suffering, and cultivate those factors which lead to happiness. Simple, yet missing from so many therapy practices.
How often have we been in line for coffee or at the grocery store and we completely ignore those people in line around us? The Dalai Lama speaks of personal happiness which can be as simple as reaching out to others, creating a feeling of community and good will, even if these encounters are brief. Scientific studies also showed that people who felt happy were more likely to help others.
What will I take from this chapter?
1. I will list the factors that foster suffering in my life, and list those that bring me happiness. I will hang this list in a prominent place and try to reduce the negative factors and increase the positive factors.
2. I will try to reach out to others, even for simple and brief encounters. I will foster community and good will.
starting the journey...
Well, I mistakingly thought that writing a blog would somehow bring me closer to living more happily, peacefully, and meaningfully. It was far too easy to keep putting off writing. I've decided to start a journey of sorts. I am going to pick an inspirational book and blog about my experiences in trying to follow them. The first book I am going to read is called "The Art of Happiness" by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, M.D. Now, I am not a Buddhist, in fact, I am a lapsed Catholic. Part of my journey is going to be redefining my faith. I believe in God. I believe in the goodness of people. I have trouble with the rules for life in the confines of the Catholic Church. But maybe, after all of this, it will be the place that I find I belong. Maybe it will bring me to Buddhism. Maybe another religion altogether. My only hope is that I learn to bring more happiness, peace, and meaning to my life and the life of my family.
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