What is balance? The elusive state of being that we all seek out and desire. Balance between home and work. Balance within the family. Balance within yourself.
I finally found my balance quite by accident. Literally. I had been in a high stress job for over a decade and it was beginning to wear on me. I alternated between depression and agitation. I spent all of my patience at work and had none left for my husband or three children once I got home. I had terrible stress headaches. Then, I had an accident at work.
What it was and who was at fault is not really important. What is important is that the accident put me out of work for nearly a year. At first, I was upset. Then I found myself dreading the day that the doctors would send me back.
Being home with my kids felt right. My stress headaches were gone. I was happy. The kids were happy. My husband was happy. And while being a full-time mom was stressful, it was a good kind of stress.
The day came when the doctors cleared me to go back to work. While I we were scraping by with the worker's comp payments, we simply could not be a one-person income kind of family. Grudgingly, I sent the email saying that I was ready to return to work. They sent me an email back saying that they had long since filled my position. At first I was hurt, but that was quickly overshadowed by the possibilities that awaited me.
For the first time since college, I had the opportunity to decide what I wanted to be. I knew what I wanted. Balance. A job that helped us out financially, allowed me to spend quality time with the kids, and gave me a sense of purpose. In the months that followed I spent a lot of time researching the possibilities. I had a strong educational background in teaching, specifically special education. I loved writing. I loved creating. I loved art. I loved the environment. I had my certification as a yoga teacher (which up until now had gone unused).
I decided to go full force into the world of yoga. I went back to the curriculum I had written when I was training for my certification. It involved yoga, music, and art from recycled materials (merging my love to create and my love of the earth together). The job was a dream come true. I reached a deal with the school system that I would teach in the after-school program for at-risk youth. I work three afternoons a week, which gives me plenty of time to spend with my kids. My kids are less wild and more well-rounded. I am much more patient with everyone. My life, which was total chaos before, finally feels right. Balanced. A little work and a lot of family. Perfect.
